Expanding Your Circle of Control
Increase your self-efficacy by paying attention to your power to act and respond as you create an environment to support your success.
Monday on PsychSkeptics, I attacked the concept of microstress as an unhelpful expansion in the ever-growing quest to pathologize experience. A consequence of viewing more and more of what falls within of the normal range of human experiences as problematic is disempowerment, inaction and demotivation. The victimhood narrative is one that serves the aims of those who seek to profit from making people believe that they are disadvantaged and does nothing to support the individuals they claim to help.
Self-optimization follows from adopting an empowering mindset and engaging in the associated behaviors that will keep you moving forward on the path toward improvement. This means, at times, facing things are stressful and challenging. A key feature in maintaining motivation and drive, especially in the face of struggles, is self-efficacy. Self-efficacy - our confidence in our ability to achieve a desired goal - influences what activities we engage in, what challenges we are likely to seek out, and how much effort and persistence we are likely to put into a task.
People with high self-efficacy are more likely to take action and to take on challenging tasks. It’s no surprise that we are more likely to engage in activities when we expect success, and our confidence in our abilities influences this expectation. Additionally, people with higher self-efficacy are more likely to keep putting in effort and working toward a goal when the going get tough. Again not surprising: when we believe that the effort will pay off, it makes sense to keep pushing ahead.
It is, of course, important not to have widely incorrect beliefs about your own ability – as someone who cannot carry a tune or hit a pitch, I will never be an accomplished singer no matter how hard I try. However, with most of our goals, continued and sustained effort will get us closer to the desired endpoint. Thus, it is incredibly important to cultivate an “I can” mindset to promote self-efficacy as you work toward your success.
For people who might be struggling with self-confidence, there are many ways to cultivate self-efficacy. First, one simple solution is to find role models who you can learn from and emulate. Most successful people can point to mentors or individuals who they admire that served as a guide and benchmark of what is possible. Second, take time to self-reflect on your past success over challenging circumstances to serve as a reminder of what you can accomplish.
Third, in your interactions with others, surround yourself with people who will give you feedback that helps you move closer toward your goals. Sometimes successful mentors can serve this end but so too can friends, family and others in the various networks that we work to build. Fourth, pay attention to your emotions and reactions to situations. Use negative emotions, such as frustration, not as signs to quit but as signs to seek some assistance to help you get over the temporary bump. Also, negativity and discomfort can be a sign that you are learning and growing - they are an essential part of the improvement process. Value them as such signals. Managing your emotions effectively helps to ensure that they won’t be a source to pull you off track.
Finally, work on expanding your circle of control. To do this, I’m going to share an activity that you can find many examples of online and originated with Steven Covey. There are many variations on its use, but I’ll explain briefly how it can be adapted in boosting your self-efficacy.
To get started, first focus on something in your life that is stressful, challenging or feels overwhelming. Procrastination and lack of motivation often stem from fear of failure or desire to avoid negative feelings associated with challenging work. Using this circle of control activity can be a good tool to help confront what might be holding you back. This exercise is designed to help you feel more empowered, to increase your confidence in yourself, to boost your self-efficacy and to help you take action.
Now that you have your situation in mind, you’re ready to go. Draw three circles and label them as depicted below.
You now have a diagram depicting reality – there are some things we can control, there are some things that we can influence but we don’t have full control over, and there is some stuff that we can’t really do anything about. This was, is and will always be true.
To hone your power and increase your perception of control, start by filling in the center circle. For the situation you are thinking about, highlight a few things that you have control over. Next, consider and write down a few things that you can influence related to the situation or the outcome. And finally, write down a few things about the situation or the outcome that you feel are outside of your control.
Once you have outlined some of these factors, it’s time to determine your plan of attack. Go back over each level, considering now what specific actions you can take to exercise your control and write down some suggestions. Ask yourself these questions as you move through the levels and challenge yourself to provide real responses:
What do I need to do now and what can I do now in those areas where I have control?
What can I do now to positively influence an outcome when I don’t have full control?
What can I do when I can’t change the outcome or circumstances? How should I respond?
Importantly, remember that for whatever you place in the outer sphere, you are not powerless. You always have control over how you respond when you don’t get the outcomes you desire. You construct the reality you inhabit, through how you respond, how you act, and where you place your attention. The empowerment in this activity derives from helping you to expand that inner circle so that it fills up more and more space – both in terms of your perception and your attentional resources. As you continue to practice outlining where you have control and what you can do, you should start to recognize and more fully acknowledge your personal power. And, increasing awareness of what you can’t influence is important in directing your attention and resources to more effectively deal with what you can.
In sum, “challenge who you can be, don’t let fate control your future” (Stephen Redhead). Work hard to always keep in mind that the choice in achieving your goals rests with you - you can take action or let things happen around you. Make the choice to engage and exert your power in cultivating a mindset, environment and pattern of behaviors that keeps you progressing.