Making Comparisons Work for You
The success of others can be inspiring or threatening. Mastering your mindset can help keep you motivated.
A high-paying job, a great vacation, a picture-perfect family…this is what colors many personal posts on social media (news outlets excluded, of course). Being confronted with the success of others can affect us in multiple ways. We may feel inspired by what’s possible but can sometimes feel a sense of inadequacy or self-doubt. What influences the valence of our response to such information? One key variable in making others’ success work to fuel your motivation rather than sap is to cultivate a self-optimizing mindset.
What is Social Comparison Theory?
Social comparison theory (SCT) is a well-researched aspect in the field of social psychology. Proposed by Leon Festinger in 1954, the theory suggests that people assess themselves and their abilities through comparisons with others. Festinger suggested that people largely wanted an accurate self-view, preferring objective standards over subjective comparisons. Much subsequent work, however, has demonstrated that even when objective information is available, social comparisons are sought as part of the self-evaluative process and our goals can go beyond simple evaluation. Given that many evaluative aspects lack an objective benchmark, social comparison information may be all that is available for self-assessment too.
In the jargon of SCT, the individual with whom we compare is the target and targets can, in the simplest sense, be classified as similar, upward or downward. A similar target is self-explanatory - someone who is similarly situated on the dimension of comparison. An upward target would be better off than you on the dimension of interest and a downward target would be worse off than you. The way comparisons with these different targets affect us is far from simple, however.
SCT Targets and the Effects of Comparison
When we consider how we are impacted by comparison targets, the outcome could be 1) no impact, 2) we assimilate (our self-evaluation is displaced toward the target) or 3) we contrast (our self-evaluation is displaced away from the target). Thus, for an upward target, an assimilative outcome would mean our self-assessment becomes more positive and a contrastive outcome would mean that our self-assessment becomes more negative. In the case of a downward target, assimilation would mean the reverse. Our self-assessment would be more negative after the comparison, and vice versa for a contrastive outcome.
Let’s look at a specific example. Most have at least a passing familiarity with social comparison as it relates to body image and media exposure. For decades, we have been hearing about the negative impact on self-esteem and body acceptance that follows exposure to idealized versions of female beauty in the media, including social media. These effects are well documented, as are increasing rates of body dissatisfaction in men. From the perspective of SCT, media figures are typically upward targets (typically more fit and more attractive than viewers) and the documented outcomes is contrast (self-evaluation is negative, displaced away from the target).
Why is it that case that such upward targets create detrimental effects (contrast) rather than serving as inspiration (assimilation)? Part of the story relates to the nature of the targets themselves and part has to do with our mindset. Media targets are “idealized” in the sense that they represent extreme versions of fitness and beauty, presenting a standard that for most is unattainable through any of the behaviors we can control, such as diet and exercise. In print, for example, we know that images are photoshopped so the output represents an artificial portrait of the person depicted. The ubiquity and widespread use of photo filters by lay individuals on social media also suggests that we have adopted a visual aesthetic that prefers this artificiality over reality. If one’s standard of beauty is artificially created, there is little chance they will be pleased with what they see in the (unfiltered) mirror.
Because achieving the idealized status is difficult, or impossible, without significant investment in time and money, the unattainable upward target can be demotivating. It represents a goal that cannot be reached. How then can we reverse the negative impact? The first step would be to avoid making such comparisons in the first place, by reducing the use of social media for example. A total lack of exposure to upward targets is unrealistic, so a second method of prevention is desirable. Fortunately, we have some control over negative impact and it starts with controlling our mindset.
Mindset and Comparison Outcomes
One important mindset factor that can prevent demotivation when confronted with an upward target is remembering that you have the capacity to change. For example, psychologists talk about “possible selves,” a conceptualization of who we can be in the future. Keeping in mind that your status is malleable and not static can help fuel motivation by keeping available the knowledge that you can move closer to the target of comparison, promoting an assimilative outcome. Combining this with a realistic assessment of what is possible (you will likely never reach the status of the unattainable target), you can still maintain motivation by taking the steps necessary to promote improvement. If you notice yourself feeling worse after a comparison, consider taking a few moments to think about where you can be in one month, one year, or five years. This helps to activate your possible self and promote more beneficial comparison outcomes.
A second mindset aspect that can help maintain positivity in the face of threatening upward targets is considering both your similarity and differences with respect to the target. While comparisons often occur on specific dimensions (in our example body image), the target themselves is multidimensional. Considering the individual as a whole can help you cognitively evaluate the situation to your advantage. Sticking with our example, if we take a model who is fit and attractive, we recognize that such a person benefitted from good genes and likely put in some hard work too. But, as a model, they probably spend much of their days engaged in activities associated with improving their fitness and appearance. Most of us don’t have time to spend hours a day at the gym, the money to hire personal chefs to make tasty and healthy meals for us, or hours to spend on our hair and make-up before we go out into public. Keeping these differences in mind provides you with a more realistic understanding of your own status relative to the target and helps to avoid the negative consequences of a contrastive outcome.
Beyond that, considering similarities with an upward target may help with motivation too. In many cases, the success that we might envy in others is the result of specific behaviors that we can mimic and implement into our own lives to get us closer to our goals. For example, time and time again we hear that highly successful people wake up early. Instead of bemoaning how difficult it is to get out of bed, read up on sleep hygiene and work to adjust your schedule to be more like theirs. When you realize that you can make changes to promote alignment with habits of success, the success of others becomes less threatening and more inspirational. And, we’re back to understanding the self as a work in progress - others have made changes and achieved positive outcomes, and you can too!
In sum, social comparison information offers a complex challenge for maintaining your motivation. Upward targets abound in movies, TV, social media and real life - and they can pose a threat to our self-esteem and sap our drive if we don’t set ourselves up to prevent contrast in comparison outcomes. Encouragingly, you are not a victim to such effects. You have the power to adjust your mindset and make these comparisons work for you, pushing you further on your self-optimization journey!
(This piece focused primarily on upward targets. We will tackle downward targets in a future article.)