I'm not so sure that gratitude is what I feel in the midst of a major setback or major negative event in my life (or my family's life). But I will say that the groundwork laid by gratitude - simply being thankful for all the things I do have that are wonderful in my life - certainly lays the groundwork for getting through the tough times -- more friends, a clearer mind to allow me start to problem-solve rather than being mired in self-pity or anger or other negative and not very useful or helpful emotions - all the points you made about the advantages. So I'd say, I'm not so sure about being grateful in the midst of something but certainly that overall mindset gets me through things a bit more quickly and smoothly :-) And then I can get back to nurturing my gratitude. (I know people whose whole life is focused on all the things they don't have, rather than an appreciation of the things they do have; and that is certainly not a good way to go through life. It's sad. But I'd say it's hard work to overcome that mindset without help and it's difficult to help those people, if they are your friends, because they are not pleasant to be around. I'm not sure how to reach them.)
Thanks for the thoughts Annette! I agree that having people to support you helps to cultivate gratitude. I actively work to change my mindset in the middle of something difficult. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Too many people sit in a space of negativity and are reinforced in doing so by others. I think we can't reach everyone, nor are we obligated to. Being available to help while maintaining distance from someone else's negativity is sometimes the best option.
I'm not so sure that gratitude is what I feel in the midst of a major setback or major negative event in my life (or my family's life). But I will say that the groundwork laid by gratitude - simply being thankful for all the things I do have that are wonderful in my life - certainly lays the groundwork for getting through the tough times -- more friends, a clearer mind to allow me start to problem-solve rather than being mired in self-pity or anger or other negative and not very useful or helpful emotions - all the points you made about the advantages. So I'd say, I'm not so sure about being grateful in the midst of something but certainly that overall mindset gets me through things a bit more quickly and smoothly :-) And then I can get back to nurturing my gratitude. (I know people whose whole life is focused on all the things they don't have, rather than an appreciation of the things they do have; and that is certainly not a good way to go through life. It's sad. But I'd say it's hard work to overcome that mindset without help and it's difficult to help those people, if they are your friends, because they are not pleasant to be around. I'm not sure how to reach them.)
Thanks for the thoughts Annette! I agree that having people to support you helps to cultivate gratitude. I actively work to change my mindset in the middle of something difficult. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Too many people sit in a space of negativity and are reinforced in doing so by others. I think we can't reach everyone, nor are we obligated to. Being available to help while maintaining distance from someone else's negativity is sometimes the best option.