You Can't Be Anything You Want...
And that's okay. Focus on cultivating your strengths instead.
It is common to hear people saying, especially to young people, "You can be anything you want." This idea is meant to inspire, suggesting not only optimism about oneself but the promise of limitless potential. While the sentiment behind this message is well-intentioned, it’s effect is largely to set one up with unrealistic expectations and to end in wasted effort and disappointment. At a time when so many are living disconnected to reality, a shift away from damaging idealism is warranted. It is time to adopt a more practical and empowering approach that encourages individuals to identify their strengths and direct their talents toward what they are naturally good at. Below we explore why focusing on strengths is a more effective strategy than promoting the idea that anyone can be anything they want and how to help reorient for optimizing your own success.
The Problem: You Can’t Be Anything You Want
The notion that anyone can be anything sets up an expectation that success is merely a matter of desire and effort. However, not every goal is achievable for everyone, regardless of how hard they try. Some people may not have the physical, intellectual, or emotional capabilities to excel in certain fields, and no amount of passion can make up for these shortcomings. When individuals invest time and effort into pursuits that don’t align with their natural abilities, it can lead to frustration, burnout, and a sense of failure.
Truly valuing diversity involves recognizing individual differences and telling someone they can be anything does the opposite because it disregards their unique strengths and talents. Everyone has areas where they excel naturally, and others where they struggle. Encouraging people to focus on strengths acknowledges and celebrates what makes each person unique, allowing them to maximize their potential in areas where they are likely to succeed.
When individuals pursue paths that don’t align with their strengths, it often requires more effort, time, and resources to achieve mediocre results. In contrast, when someone works within their areas of strength, they are more likely to achieve success with less struggle, allowing them to make the most of their resources.
The Solution: Focusing on Strengths is More Effective
When people are encouraged to focus on their strengths, they are more likely to experience success. Success, in turn, builds confidence and motivation. Instead of facing constant setbacks in areas where they may not excel, individuals can grow their self-esteem by achieving goals that align with their strengths. This positive feedback loop fosters a sense of accomplishment and inspires continued effort and improvement.
Focusing on strengths allows individuals to master their skills. Instead of spreading themselves thin by trying to excel in multiple, potentially incompatible areas, people can direct their efforts toward becoming experts in their chosen field. Mastery brings a deeper sense of satisfaction than superficial success across a wide range of pursuits.
Working within one’s strengths is naturally more productive and efficient. People who focus on what they do best can often complete tasks faster and with higher quality, making them more effective in their work and life. This efficiency translates into better results, whether in a career, a hobby, or any other endeavor.
Each individual has a unique combination of talents, skills, and personality traits. By encouraging people to identify and develop their strengths, we allow them to leverage what comes naturally to them. This doesn’t mean we can’t learn new skills or improve in areas of weakness, but our core talents will always be our most powerful assets.
Getting There: How to Focus on Your Strengths
Seek feedback that is honest. Whether in education or the workplace, there are ample opportunities for individuals to discover their strengths. This might involve assessments, feedback from peers, or self-reflection exercises. Be open to opportunities, both formal and informal, that provide you with information about where your talents lie. Once identified, they can be nurtured and developed.
Seek mentorship that is targeted. Mentors, teachers, and leaders can play a significant role in helping individuals focus on their strengths. By being open to individuals who are able to give you specific guidance, you will be better able to pursue your strengths. Don’t seek out those who only coddle your ego by giving you praise that is unearned, instead challenge yourself to do more in the presence of those who can offer you honest critique. Offering tailored guidance that aligns with a person’s natural abilities can help direct them toward more meaningful success.
Promote growth over fixing weaknesses. While improving on weaknesses can be beneficial, growth is often faster and more fulfilling when it involves developing existing strengths. This is not to argue that we should ignore areas of improvement, but rather an acknowledgement that effort is best used when directed toward avenues where it is likely to manifest successfully in change. Spending more time and effort honing what you do best will lead to more significant achievements and a higher level of personal satisfaction.
Go After Your Realistic Dreams
The idea that "you can be anything you want" is undoubtedly well-intentioned, but it can lead to misguided efforts and unrealistic expectations. A more empowering and beneficial message is one that helps individuals recognize their strengths and direct their efforts toward areas where they have a natural advantage. For individuals, self-reflection is key to identifying strengths and having a realistic assessment of where one’s skills and talents lie. We all benefit when collectively and individually we strive not for unattainable pipe dreams but to be the best at what we can reasonably achieve. By focusing on each person’s unique talents and pushing for excellence within those strengths, we can encourage personal growth, increase productivity, and foster a deeper sense of achievement and fulfillment.
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Too true. My parents convinced me I could be a doctor; you know a "doctor doctor." Well, when I absolutely could not pass O-chem with better than a C I knew the writing was on the wall - no "doctor doctor" for me! So I had to move on. Fortunately I was an adult by then and could move on :-) Shifted right over to biopsych and never looked back. My parents never accepted that I was just a 'doctor' and never a "doctor doctor" as they had preordained me to be, because I could be anything I wanted if I tried hard enough. Well, no. Perhaps the anxiety engendered by all that pressure kept me from ace-ing O-chem but who cares? I now have a very successful career behind me as a plain old 'doctor' :-) It was really hard at the time...easy enough to look back, lol. Sad that they both died making me feel bad.